At some point there was a tide that turned, I don't know when exactly. But I was ready, and that was all there was to it. It is still a mystery to me, and perhaps will remain so.
I won't speak too soon and say that everything is one hundred percent better, that there aren't parts of what was or what might have been that aren't tinged with a certain longing sadness, but I will say that I did my taxes without crying, added up all those receipts from the places we went without tears spilling over, and that was good. I copied down each date and number and name and stopped myself before I thought of the permanent good-bye I thought was only temporary, and I was okay this time.
Thank God, I was okay this time.
2006-02-06 - 3:55 p.m.
