Sometimes I think it's a miracle I remember my diaryland password at all. But then I did always remember numbers well. I had to graduate from high school before I forgot my seventh grade locker combination. Maybe it was even college graduation that I realized I'd finally forgotten it. Whatever. That's not really what I'm here to say.
I'm leaving for Chicago tomorrow, so I downloaded some new tunes to listen to on the drive. I'm showing up deliberately sleep-deprived so I can sleep on the road. I'll knit until it's dark and then fall asleep to Nickel Creek and David Gray.
I currently have Nickel Creek's Jealous of the Moon on repeat. I was going to call it today's theme song, but then I read the lyrics, and they don't all ring true for me. They used to, I think, but not so much anymore. I will say that it sways the way I like it to, and there are parts that touch me in places that need to be touched. A download is highly recommended--of the song and even of the whole album, which is Why Should The Fire Die?
Last night with the Titans we talked about the songs in the Bible. There is the song of the Israelites--frustrated, confused, disconnected, the song of Mary--awestruck but certainly imbued with trepidation, and then the song of the shepherds, giving glory to God and going to find the infant in the manger. We talked about what songs we were singing and why. Jason pointed out that it's okay not to always be singing the song of the shepherds. I felt a great deal of pressure lift when he said that. I hadn't thought of it that way before, but I think in the past that one of my big problems was that I expected myself to always be singing the song of the shepherds, and still feel, in fact, that others expect me to always be singing the song of the shepherds. Perhaps my perception is off. And maybe now I've said too much. I feel distrustful of too many words lately, especially about Jesus. One can talk any little thing to death, including faith. Words in excess can remove all the mystery, and that just isn't right. There will always be things that we do not know and understand about God, and that is as it should be.
I'm going to stop talking now. Perhaps it's time to listen.
Goodnight, all.
2005-12-01 - 10:40 p.m.
